I’ve been here before. On this date. The movie was just as corny, the guy just as funny, and our drinks just as bubbly. Welcome to the Groundhog Day of dating – when you have the same date over and over again – with the same guy. I’m not complaining. I like this guy. You see, he’s unavailable. But that’s ok, I’m unavailable, too. We met on Unavailable.com. Our paths happened to collide at mutually complicated times — we were both “in between” everything: jobs, neighborhoods, leases. But being distracted is more fun when you’re distracted with someone else. Without Rafael*, I would’ve never discovered the full potential of On-Demand cable, the 212 new indie songs (which I’m currently listening to), nor would I have ever sat through an entire screening of “The Exorcist” for the sole purpose of my “artistic development.” Sometimes a guy comes along — even if it is for four minutes or four months — and stirs your world. After all, dating a Mr. Unavailable has its own special brew of perks. Find out what they are after the jump.
1. He’s perpetually new and shiny. Did he get new glasses? Or do something to his hair? It looks so much wavier than last time. That’s because you haven’t seen him in 11 days! And he hasn’t seen you either. So there’s no way he’ll notice that you’re wearing the same sexy dress yet again. You will look all new and shiny in his eyes, too. All four of them.
2. Home improvements, improved. When a man, who just happens to be tall enough to reach your ceiling unaided, comes along, emotionally available or not, he can still change your light bulbs. All of them. He’ll feel useful and you can skip the romantic, home-cooked meal by candlelight now that your light fixtures work again.
3. No couple-y stuff necessary. He exists for you only. That means no dinner with your parents or his. You don’t have to invite him as your plus one. Or introduce him to your friends. No need to IM him what you had for breakfast this morning. Or dinner last night. When your plate is already brimming over the edge with big life changes, you won’t have to worry about sharing it, too.
4. He brings new things to the table. Including those foreign spices that taste great on anything, especially toast. You’ll learn the lyrics to Zola Jesus backwards … while doing a handstand. He’ll remind you to watch the Sundance Channel, because you forgot it was there.
5. Dating déjà vu. Every date is just as exciting as your fourth date. The one where he ran five blocks through the rain to make it to the movie on time, and you tried to dry him under the hand dryer as the credits rolled. It’s “The Bachelor” principle. Your time together counts, because neither one of you knows when the next date card will roll around, so the rose never loses its bloom, so to speak.
6. Temporary amnesia. You’ll love being with him today, because he’ll make you forget to worry about tomorrow. Never mind the “no job,” “no apartment” thing. You’ll forget all about your troubles when you carve sculptures out of butter blocks or bust-a-move on that impromptu living room dance floor. A little fun never hurt a girl going through a life crisis.
7. Loneliness prevention center. Saturday night rolls around every week, whether you want it to or not. It’s easy to curl up with a glass of pinot and a lovely guy with a glint in his eye. No deep conversations required. Just bask in the staving off of temporary loneliness … I mean, his company.
8. Intimacy issues, what intimacy issues? Being with Mr. Unavailable will allow you to pooh-pooh your own intimacy issues, if only for another few weeks. You’ll tackle them, you swear. But not right this moment. And eventually you’ll be Mrs. More Aavailable and a Mr. More Available will come along. You just need to find somewhere to live first.
*Name has been changed.