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10 Things I Would Do If I Owned This Sheltie Dog Purse

Internal Monologue
What's going through Winona's head in the haircare aisle. Read More »

Sometimes a product comes along that is so weird and magical that I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be if I owned it. This sheltie dog purse is one of those products. If I ever pony up the $25 bucks it would take to buy this bag, here are 10 things I will do… [Fuzzy Nation Handbag, Amazon]

  1. Give it a cute name like “Roxy” or “Mabel.”
  2. Take it on long walks around the park and put dog biscuits in its zipper pouch.
  3. Fall into a well on purpose to see if it would get help.
  4. Try to teach it to play fetch and not even get mad if it didn’t catch on right away.
  5. Take it to the dog groomer for regular cleaning and maintenance.
  6. Store it in a kennel.
  7. When people talk about their kids, sigh and say “Sometimes I feel like I have a kid,” and motion to my dog purse.
  8. Keep it in my bed and snuggle with it at the end of a tough day.
  9. Take it outside for bathroom breaks, set it on a patch of grass, and if anyone looked at me funny, say “Umm…could you move along? She suffers from pee shyness and can’t go with people staring at her.”
  10. Never use it as an actual purse.
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