Paris Hilton’s New Song “Drunk Text” Is Worse Than You Thought

A few years ago, I was in LA for work and actually encountered Paris Hilton in the wild. I was at what I guess was a “hip” bar and she waltzed in with her entourage and settled in a booth at the back. She spent the entire two hours she was there texting on her Sidekick. I don’t think she made eye contact with anyone all night. That girl was clearly a texting addict! So it does not surprise me in the slightest that her new song — how excited are you?!?! — is all about texting.

Specifically drunk texting, hence it is called “Drunk Text.” Don’t worry, Paris doesn’t actually sing on it. She talks. Gawker described it as “spoken word” over a techno beat. It features true moments of lyrical genius, though, for example, “My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent” and “It’s a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts, and run-on questions.” She also explains that when you put sex and texting together, you get SEXTING, which was helpful for me because I didn’t know. Anyway, watch the video above (please, because I screengrabbed a copy just for you) and then cleanse your brain with a few spins of “Stars Are Blind,” a song I suddenly appreciate so much more. [Gawker]