Oh, my Girl Scout years. Swabbing each other’s cervixes. Examining each other’s breasts for strange lumps. Aborting each other’s unborn children. Those were the days!
Well, not anymore. Thanks, Rep. Bob Morris of Fort Wayne, Indiana, for blowing the lid off our cover: Girl Scout troops were once able to perform pelvic exams and prescribe herpes medication in peace, but now the groups have been outed as “a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood” by Rep. Morris. How did Rep. Morris learn all our secrets? From Googling, of course! (Or as he put it, “a small amount of web-based research.” Rather small, I should say.) As we all know everything you read on on the Internet is true, Rep. Morris was fully in the right to inform his fellow Republican colleagues in a letter on Sunday that he refused to support a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because it encourages sex and promotes homosexuality.
Damn. And they were hiding it so well. [NY Daily News]