It has been a long and aggravating day of the government trying to restrict our access to birth control. A panel of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee ensured the worst PR ever when it convened a bunch of men — men with penises! I repeat, no one with an actual uterus — to discuss the birth control mandate in Obama’s Affordable Care Act. Their party line is that they were just discussing “religious freedom,” meaning, I guess, the freedom for a small minority of religious employers to impose their beliefs on everyone else in the country? I don’t know, I’m still not clear on their point other than “Wah, wah.”
Not surprisingly, silliness is in the water and it has proven a bang-up day for dumb comments about birth control all around. Of the following three comments about birth control, two are actual real things that people said, and one was made up by me. See if you can the difference. Birth control …
A) … causes prostrate cancer!
B) … isn’t necessary because women should put aspirin between our knees (or, debatably, inside our vaginas) instead!
C) … increases greenhouse gases!
First, we have New Hampshire State Representative Jeanine Notter, who told a committee today that birth control causes prostate cancer. Rep. Notter pronounced herself to be “anti-chemical” (an interesting way to describe hormonal birth control and a flat-out inaccurate way to describe other types of birth control like the diaphraghm) and then proceeded to explain — euphemistically, of course — how birth control somehow affects the man’s prostrate by getting into his system through sex. This is one of our elected officials, America!
Next a Sen. Rick Santorum shill named Foster Friess, a guest on MSNBC’s “Andrea Mitchell Reports,” grumbling (emphasis mine) “… this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s such inexpensive. Back in my day, they use Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.” Cut to awkward silence and Andrea Mitchell’s “WTF Did You Just Say?” face. Call Jurassic Park, one of their dinosaurs is missing.
The last moronic comment, alas, is the one that I made up. But if only birth control did release greenhouse gases, we could stick those dirty sluts with carbon credits.
[BlueHampshire.com — VIDEO]
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.