It is better to be single than badly accompanied: that is a truism of relationships that I’ve often reminded myself when the time came for a difficult breakup conversation. As we all know, time and distance can have blurring effects. You forget about the times he yelled at you in public or the snotty tone of voice he used when he talked down to you. You remember the cuddles and the kisses as if they were all you did, every time, even when you know this is not the whole story.
On Valentine’s Day — the day that is supposed to be about celebrating love and romance — it seems fitting to remember the guys who we are happy aren’t in our lives:
“I’m really glad I’m not dating the alcoholic who told me he was in recovery, but had never gone through any treatment. So he was basically still an addict, but without any substances. He emailed me like every 30 seconds, which for a while seemed intoxicating (interesting word choice, I know), but began to feel overbearing. He also, at some point, seemed to think of me as his “groupie.” He was in a band and would ask me to do stuff for him on my lunch break like pick up a costume for him to wear on stage. He was late to one of our dates due to a mani-pedi (black) and was often getting his hair dyed pink, or green or purple. As fast and furiously as he barged into my life, he disappeared. I assume he started using again or maybe found someone who was more amused by his antics and excited to be his adoring fan. But it wasn’t me. And I’m glad.”
“I’m glad not to be dating my last boyfriend who, while passionate and exciting and totally different, also was emotionally manipulative and selfish.”
“I’m really glad not to be dating this guy I met in college who shared my obsession with Converse All-Stars and tried to seduce me by splitting the shipping cost on an order of special edition sneakers, but when I realized the shoes were the wrong size he got super offended and never talked to me again. If I was dating him now he would probably give me a beautiful box of Valentine’s Day chocolates, but if I didn’t like one of the flavors he’d take it away and dump me. Harsh.”
“I’m glad not to be dating any of my exes, especially the ex who left me for a man. I took the fact that he was gay pretty lightly, but he had the nerve to ask if I would be the “mother” of their child. Perhaps that was his plan all along. I’m glad to be out of that situation.”
“I’m so glad I’m not with the guy who never made me feel like I was good enough. I was 21-years-old, just out of college, and totally taken with how he was older, had his own apartment, and had a good job. That’s pretty normal, but he genuinely seemed to think he was too good to be dating me. He criticized my clothes, my purse, the movies and TV shows I liked to watch, and even my body. He didn’t seem grateful for the Christmas present that I gave him, either. Basically, he just whined a lot! I have no idea why I stayed for him as long as I did. I guess I believed his own hype? Now I would run in the other direction if a guy was so cocky and self-aggrandizing.”
Any exes who you are glad not to be dating this Valentine’s Day? Tell us in the comments.
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.