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Top 10 Reasons The Olympics Needs The Spice Girls

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News recently broke that the Spice Girls are considering a reunion at the Olympic Games in London this summer. I think this is the best idea in the history of the world. In fact, I’m not sure the Olympics should happen at all if the Spice Girls’ appearance falls through. Why? Because there are 10 reasons the Olympics needs the Spice Girls:

  1. Sporty Spice could serve as a judge/referee in pretty much every sport.
  2. The Olympics has sweat, tears, and spandex, but it’s notoriously short on leopard print, fishnets, and glitter.
  3. The campaign to make “Walking in 8-Inch Platform Sneakers” an Olympic sport could use a publicity bump.
  4. The Spice Girls could spice up staid Olympic events. For example, instead of having finish lines at running events, the Spice Girls could jump out in front of athletes singing “Stop right now, thank you very much.” Scary Spice’s yell could replace a starting gun. Michael Phelps could try for another world record with Baby Spice sitting on his back.
  5. It’s been four years since the last Spice Girls reunion. I can’t think of any other important event that takes place every four years. The world has been waiting! Give the people what they want!
  6. Organizers could scrap the entire opening ceremony and just roll out a big screen to show “Spice World” instead.
  7. Six words: Victoria Beckham designing table tennis uniforms.
  8. The Olympics always includes dramatic montages celebrating the host country. Nothing is more patriotic than Ginger Spice in a Union Jack mini dress.
  9. The Spice Girls are known around the world as a symbol of justice and fairness. Do you think anyone would cheat with the Spice Girls around? Most likely not. They would bring integrity to the games.
  10. There are five rings in the Olympic logo. There are five Spice Girls. This was totally meant to be.
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