Maybe 2012 really is the end of the world. In the last few weeks, it seems like tons of longstanding couples have announced that they are splitting up. First, and perhaps most heartbreakingly, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis — and now Heidi Klum and Seal? (Please don’t let anything happen to William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman.) Heidi and Seal always seemed so in love! But perhaps renewing your vows every year and being breathtakingly attractive isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Perhaps the truth about their relationship is a lot darker – more thorns than roses? The rumors running around the internet are that Seal’s temper sometimes got the best of him, and while the pair appeared perfect on camera, he was often moody and difficult. But until that’s confirmed by Heidi, we’re free to speculate wildly about their separation. After the jump, we give you nine possible reasons the “Project Runway” auf-er and the pop star are splitting.
1. Seal proposed by giving Heidi a helicopter ride to a rose petal-strewn igloo. How could he ever top that? That’s right, you can’t.
2. Seal wanted more seal pups and Heidi Klum’s vagina was like HELLZ NO. The pair have three little adorable children together, plus Heidi’s daughter from a previous relationship, who Seal adopted. That’s not a Brangelina-sized brood, but it’s pretty big. Maybe one of them wanted more kids and the other was not having it. Though, why deprive the world of more beautiful people, really?
3. Heidi Klum finally realized she was married to a man named Seal. Perhaps Heidi had what Oprah calls an “A-ha Moment” and realized that she married a guy who purposely named himself after a floppy, flabby sea mammal.
4. Heidi Klum is way more wildly successful than Seal at this point and that started to bother him. She’s got a successful television franchise, a Victoria’s Secret legacy, and last year, she earned around $20 million. He’s sold around 20 million records, but hasn’t had a top 10 U.S. hit since the ’90s.
5. They realized they liked renewing their vows more than they actually liked being married. The couple was married for seven years, and renewed their vows on every anniversary with themed nuptials. It’s possible they just really liked having wedding ceremonies?
6. Ever since she stopped modeling for Victoria’s Secret Heidi had so much more free time and realized she didn’t dig him so much. The extra free time Klum’s had since ending her Victoria’s Secret contract in 2010 may have given her more time to reflect on her relationship. Maybe she started noticing really annoying things about Seal, like the way he left the bread out on the counter after making toast, or the manner with which he slurped his soup. Relationships have ended over less.
7. They suffered from the curse of the reality TV show. In 2010, Klum and Seal signed on to do the Lifetime TV reality show called “Love’s Divine.” It never ended up airing, but that doesn’t mean that the reality TV show couple curse — the same one that afflicted reality TV couples like Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson and Carmen Electra/Dave Navarro — didn’t taint their relationship.
8. They couldn’t come up with any more creative couples Halloween costumes. The two of them manage to outdo themselves every year with creative — and sometimes repulsive — Halloween costumes. Maybe the well ran dry.
9. Heidi’s running off with Tim Gunn. This one is most definitely not true, but don’t you wish it was?