Tucker Max “Retires,” Would Really Like Us To Believe He’s Changed

“I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.”

–That’s Tucker Max, the guy who wrote I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, and the man who’s made a living off of being a professional d-bag, claiming that he’s now interested in finding a woman to settle down with. It’s more likely that Max’s old slimeball schtick was no longer effective, so he’s now dedicated himself to pulling off Sensitive Feelings Guy Who’s Secretly a Rampant Shitbird. That’s my guess, anyway. [Forbes]