Ever since the Kardashians began dry-humping America’s living rooms, tongues have wagged over whether Khloe is a “real” Kardashian. That’s the word we (even we at The Frisky) have used: “real.” It’s easy to see why, visually: Khloe is taller and wider, bears little facial resemblance, and (to me, at least) is demonstrably more intelligent than her sisters. “Keeping Up The Kardashians” even addressed the rumors itself, sort of: in an episode a few seasons ago, Khloe demanded to know if she was adopted and forced Kris Jenner to take a DNA test.
In the Post-Kim’s Divorce After 72 Days Anti-Kardashian backlash that is wrecking havoc on America’s second First Family, the old rumors are surfacing again like a gaseous turd in the toilet bowl. The most vicious backlash is against Khloe: two ex-wives of Robert Kardashian — the girls’ father and Kris Jenner’s ex — named Jan Ashley and Ellen Pierson told Star magazine earlier this month that Robert was “matter of fact” about how “Khloe’s not really a Kardashian.” They claimed Khloe brought it up all the time how she doesn’t resemble her other siblings. However, Ellen Pierson said Robert Kardashian “never would have considered a DNA test,” because “he loved [Khloe] very much.” The latest rumor is that Kris Jenner’s former hairdresser in the ’80s, Alex Roldan, is Khloe’s biological dad.
I feel extremely bad for Khloe about all this — not because it’s potentially embarrassing to her mother (science has yet to discover whether Kris Jenner actually experiences the feeling of embarrassment), but because it’s extremely unkind. As someone who comes from a blended family myself with multiple parentage, I know the notion of real parents versus — what? not-real parents? — is a hurtful one.
Yes, only one man could have biologically fathered Khloe Kardashian. That’s a fact of life. Alas, do I really need to spell out how it’s not anyone’s business who that man was (as much as the current culture of celebrity allows us to think we’re entitled to know the origins of sperm)?
It’s time for a country filled with blended-families to focus on something else that is a fact of life: another man — hell, even more than one other man — could have emotionally fathered Khloe Kardashian. Robert Kardashian is the parent who tucked her in at night, assembled her first bike, and helped her with her multiplication tables. To me, that is what being a parent is. That is her support network. That is her family. Whether or not you particularly care for the Kardashian family, I would hope we can all agree that it’s fucking offensive to imply or state someone doesn’t “belong” with their loved ones. Who are we to define her family for her?
This is a touchy subject for me. (There weren’t any allegations of cheating, to be clear.) My sisters have a different mother than my brother and I. My father’s first wife died when my sisters were young and Dad married my mom a few years later and my Mom legally adopted “his” kids. Mom and Dad added me and my brother to our family and we were all raised together. So, no, my mother is not my sisters’ biological mother. But she was, in every other sense of the term, their mother. She made their Halloween costumes and baked their birthday cakes and planned their weddings. They call her “Mom,” just like I do, and we all call each other “sisters” and “brother,” not half-sisters and a half-brother.
It hasn’t happened often, but there have been a couple of times in my life when friends or acquaintances have made offhand comments about my sisters’ “real mother,” meaning their biological mother, or referring to Mom as their “step-mom” or me as their “half-sister.” There’s nothing wrong with being a step-mom or a half-sister and I’m not implying its an insult for every family. But it really pissed me off and made me feel defensive when these people implied that Mom wasn’t really my sisters’ mom, or that we’re not really sisters. Who are you to define my family for me? It implies that our dad is some kind of tenuous bond holding us all together when, in fact, my sisters and I and the love that we have for each other are the very strong bonds holding us all together. I am not denying their biological mother wasn’t important to my sisters for so many reasons (that I couldn’t possibly understand), but I am saying that questioning their “real” parentage steps over the bounds of good taste and basic kindness.
There’s an early episode in one of the first seasons of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” where Khloe gets a DUI. It happened around some anniversary of Robert Kardashian’s death, which she was understandably struggling with. Khloe said she was self-medicating with alcohol because she still felt so effected by her father’s death and the blow to her own life she suffered because of it. To me, that’s all I need to hear to know who Khloe’s father is — whether or not Robert Kardashian himself, or some hairdresser Kris Jenner knew back in the ’80s, is her “real” dad.
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.