The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Advice Question Ever (Farts Involved)

Meet “So Incredibly Humiliated,” a woman whose relationship threatens to collapse on its shaky foundations thanks to the most vile and villainous transgression of them all: farting. Yes, that’s right, “So Incredibly Humiliated” wrote Slate advice columnist “Dear Prudence” because it seems she might have accidentally farted a couple of times in front of her boyfriend  — in her sleep! — and now she’s afraid he may never speak to her again. Read on…

Recently my boyfriend of more than a year and I went out for drinks then came back to his place. We made love and fell asleep naked next to each other. Then, in the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of my own fart, two farts, actually. The next morning, we both acted normal. He didn’t say anything, and neither did I. We even went to the movies  at his suggestion. I am so incredibly mortified about this. I’m sure he heard it, because he is a light sleeper. I don’t know if I should talk about it, because he hasn’t brought it up. Even if he wants to bring it up, it’s probably awkward for him. What should I do?

If you’re wondering if you read that right, you did. She’s been dating this guy for MORE THAN A YEAR, and yet she’s afraid that passing a little gas may have completely destroyed their relationship. Dang lady, everybody farts — even your boyfriend, I’m guessing. And you guys have sex! Which — unless you’re Orthodox Jews touching parts through a hole in a sheet — means you’ve seen each other naked. Relax! Unless, of course, your boyfriend is as anal retentive and neurotic as you, in which case, by all means, you deserve each other. [Slate]