Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Tried To Buy A Microwave With $1 Million Bill

Dear guy who tried to buy a microwave and vacuum at Wal-Mart with a $1 million bill,

Based on your shopping list, I can see you appreciate cleanliness and efficiency–you want to defrost your chicken breasts in 3 minutes and keep your carpets dustmite-free. That’s commendable. But it was the way tried to pay for these products that really has me intrigued. You handed that Wal-Mart cashier a $1 million dollar bill and waited patiently for your change. This shows me ingenuity, boldness, and, dare I say it: patriotism. Because in these uncertain financial times, your desire to stimulate the economy and your unwavering faith in the value of a dollar is downright inspiring. It makes me want to pledge allegiance to the American flag that waves proudly in the Arkansas breeze at Wal-Mart corporate headquarters.

And as soon as I’m done drawing up this $1 billion dollar bill, baby, I’m taking us to Red Lobster. [CNET]