I am writing to express my admiration for the recent Ebay auction of your REAL Fart In A Jar. We all know what kind of havoc joining a gym and eating healthy food can wreak on one’s digestive system. Brussels sprouts and broccoli are particularly brutal on mine. Instead of keeping your “harsh smelling gas” a secret like most of us would, you decided to do something bold, something brave. You decided to “Sell That Shit” (as suggested by your brother upon smelling your gas).
Greatness is reserved for those who demonstrate a passionate commitment to their obsessions. And that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t stop the joke, you kept it going. You tirelessly researched the proper methodology for capturing a pure fart. Then you got into your bathtub, farted in a jar, sealed up the container so the potency would be uncontaminated by atmospheric air and put it up for auction on Ebay.
I know I don’t know you (I don’t even know your real name), but in a word, you are my hero. I humbly request your friendship. I think we share a way of looking at the world (see my Frisky posts Top Farts Of 2011 and Pooping Lessons For Adults).
I am including a link to your REAL Fart In A Jar auction, in hopes that our readership here at The Frisky will drive the price up. I know your REAL Fart In A Jar and all the TLC you put into it are priceless, but your gas deserves to be lucrative.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Yours In Spirit,