It’s holiday time and you know what that means: home-wreckers are sharpening their claws and any other WMD (weapon of marriage destruction) that they can. Hey, it’s the loneliest time of year – but that doesn’t mean she can’t use your guy to keep her warm through January!
Seriously, it’s no coincidence that this time of year can prove to be dangerous to your relationship if you’re not mindful of potential threats to it. Experts talk about December as a toxic time of year for monogamous relationships and the milquetoast men behind them. “The holidays are the time when ‘husband stealers’ go on the prowl — especially at office parties,” says Dr. Carole Lieberman, a psychiatrist at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute who’s written the book on home-wreckers – literally. Her latest award-winning manifesto, Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, details 12 types of “bad girls,” including the “husband stealer” aka the home-wrecker.
So, how can you tell if one of these home-wrecking types has your relationship in her crosshairs and, if so, that your man has let it happen? Here are eight signs you’ve been home-wrecked, after the jump!
1. If he flies to London four times in one month “for business” – when you’re pretty sure his office is downtown – he might be courting a home-wrecker. That – and when you read about him in the paper for crossing trans-Atlantic lines on stalking charges – could be the tip-off.
2. If your guy’s high school girlfriend unceremoniously shows up looking a lot like Charlize Theron, say your prayers!
3. If his “office wife” keeps showing everyone at the holiday party pictures of their kids who look suspiciously like your man, you’ve been home-wrecked!
4. If he says he’s going out for a quick run to buy more egg nog – and sidles in a week later with a sun-kissed, and let’s face it, enviable, tan, something might be up.
5. If during that week, you get an email from him with a “Home-wrecking 2011 photo album,” complete with beach and another woman in the backdrop, you might want to have your guard up.
6. If you’re at the department store with him, and catch him at the jewelry counter getting all flustered, only to open a new Joni Mitchell album for Christmas, you might want to acknowledge that he earmarked that lavish jewelry purchase for someone else. Be suspicious.
7. If he’s suddenly panic-stricken, speaking with a curious Scandinavian accent and quickly dashes off in order to solve the mysterious murders of young girls, but the next day you slow down by IHOP and can distinctly see him and a mystery woman inappropriately feeding one another a short stack with strawberry sauce on the same side of the booth, a home-wrecker may, in fact, be eating the glorious breakfast goodness that you deserve.
8. He throws a Christian Bale-style hissy fit on you when you ask him to explain his incoming text from someone he has coded as “HomewreckR.”