For The Week Of December 12-18, 2011

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): The truth can have many faces, as you will see this week. So, sit tight and be willing to work through this insanity. Not to say this mess is going to be a bad thing, because, in fact, it’ll likely turn you on a little bit more for that special someone, as you’ll see their complexity in a more peculiar way, tickling you in the oddest of places.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Forget holding on to the past too tightly, as it’s time to let it go. Yes, new foundations are aching to be, so time to own up to the changes going on and love it. After all, progress isn’t slowing down, and in time you will have no more choices but the ones ahead — and if you can just chill out and really look, you’ll see they’re really are quite lovely.

Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Don’t get worked up over what someone may tell you, because the facts coming at you may be wrong and the intentions of that other may be wrong too. Yes, be weary of the kindness and warnings you receive this week, as there can be something devious lurking behind those smiles that you aren’t able to see. So move slowly, as jumping to any conclusions this week can sabotage you.

Pisces (February 20-March 20): Sorry to say not everyone with power will wield it properly this week, which can leave you feeling a bit uneasy. While you should never have to kiss ass to deal, you will have to do some clever sweet-talking to slide out of a bind. Don’t worry though; what goes around will come around, but this week, just make it about keeping your head above water and held high.

Aries (March 21-April 19): You’re going to hear a lot of promises and not all will sound reasonable or even sane. However, instead of getting critical about it all, just go with suspending your disbelief. After all, you never know when miracles can happen, but they have less of a chance of occurring if you don’t want to see them. Besides, what can it hurt to let others just be insane?

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Get ready, as the freaks will be hitting the town this week! Yes, wild and wacky secrets will be spilling out left and right, making others behave in the most egregious way. While it may be hard not to judge, as there will be extreme weirdness, don’t. Instead, open your mind just a big wider and let the crazy crawl into you, because just a touch never hurt anyone.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Sure, you may have already rolled out the red carpet and steam-cleaned it for your current crush, and trying again would seem like desperation personified. However, complications are in the air and there is no telling how it’s meddled in your life. So, think of shots at love like a potato chip, as in one more try couldn’t hurt. At least then you’ll really, really know.

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Get ready for your baby to get holier than thou, turning up their little know-it-all attitude, making you want to punch them in the face. However, fate has your back! If you just let them ramble on and on, they will likely walk right into getting egged in the face, giving you the last laugh and shutting them up without your hands getting dirty at all. Yes, a week of brilliant entertainment!

Leo (July 23-August 22): Jump on the fast track when it comes to anything that lights up your libido, because the faster you act, the happier you’ll be. Yes, there is no time to wait, as your impulses will be acting up in the randiest of ways, making you need fulfillment as if it were air. Luckily, whatever target you are aiming for will love your forceful nature, making “no” a word you will cease to hear.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): You’re a smart cookie, which bodes well for you, as you’ll need to use those logistical powers to add one and one together this week. Yes, there’ll be a lot of red herrings thrown into the mix, making a recent sexual conquest a weird mystery to deal with. As it goes, there could be a few more players in this plot that you could’ve seen coming and they’ll all have something new to tell.

Libra (September 23-October 22): If you need to lose your mind, do it. This is the week when going all out, balls to the wall psycho will have its benefits. Besides, if done properly, it’s merely a freedom of expression, a creative statement. Whatever the case, the style in which you approach this can make it all okay, so think of yourself as an abstract expressionistic fireball of passion and fury and let loose!

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): You’ll believe it when you see it. Yes, this isn’t the time to be giving the benefit of the doubt so freely, as it’ll just set you up for a disappointment. Not to say you will get it for sure, but the odds are tenuous. Besides, holding out for that other to ass kiss before handing out your love is always wise, because nothing shows desire like a little groveling