A very important question was asked of Dr. Joe DeOrio, the male sexuality expert on EmandLo.com. “What’s the deal with blue balls?” one reader asks. A very good question indeed. I’ve often wondered myself. Such a mysterious ailment, it seems to me. Dr. Joe describes it as a “discomfort in the scrotum/testes that occurs after prolonged sexual stimulation without ejaculatory release.” Yeah, I’m still not able to empathize. It must be a similar to a man trying to understand periods. After the jump, four things we should know about blue balls.
1. It’s not an excuse to pressure a lady. While the pain of blue balls is a real thing (he’s not just being a baby as you originally assumed), it doesn’t mean that a lady should be obliged to relieve the pain. According to the good doctor, he will not die, nor damage the jewels in any way if he does not ejaculate. So, just to reiterate: you did not giveth the blue balls and you are not responsible to taketh the pain away. I think we womenfolk already knew this, but it’s good to have medical confirmation.
2. The cause is unknown. There are many theories about what causes blue balls, but nobody knows for sure. Most think it has to do with the epididymis, the duct in which sperm resides. One popular theory is that the pain is caused by sperm getting backed up in the male plumbing. Those of us who have crappy plumbing at home know how much that sucks.
3. The medical community generally doesn’t care. Some medical professionals consider blue balls a myth. (I’ll bet most of them are female.) The condition has only been mentioned in a medical text once in the past 25 years. It was a case of a 14-year-old boy whose balls hurt when he started fooling around with his first girlfriend. Miraculously, his problem came to an end once he started having intercourse. Imagine that!
4. There is only one (legit) cure. Yep. You guessed it. The only legit cure for blue balls is to unclog the pipe. Ejaculation (by any method of his choice) almost always cures the pain. There is one other proposed cure men who consider themselves “chaste.” He can try to pop his nuts internally with a Valsalva maneuver, which is described as “forcefully attempting exhalation against a closed airway.” The same way one would try to pop their ears on an airplane. I don’t have balls, but this sounds extremely dangerous.