No, That’s Not ADORKable: Words That Need to Be Retired–Now

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I blame Zooey Deschanel. Not just because I blame Zooey Deschanel for most of my problems — why men in my demographic seem to all want some unattainable manic pixie dream girl, why my bangs will never be perfect — but I specifically blame her for the rise of the word “Adorkable.” Deschanel used it on her new TV show “The New Girl” and somehow, inexplicably, it has taken hold. And it is a terrible word.

But “adorkable”–which we assume means something or someone that’s both dorky and adorable–is hardly the only newish term that’s made a creeping rise into our vocabularies and the general consciousness. We’ve come to cringe at a variety of oft-heard terms. Below, the words, phrases and annoying sayings that we’re hoping we won’t hear in 2012. And please, feel free to add your own “adorkables” in the comments.

Redonkulous: The word is ridiculous. Redonkulous sounds like the name of a clown rapper.

Nom nom nom: “That’s delicious!” Or, “I’m enjoying my food,” or, “I very much like the taste of this dish” will do.

This: When referring to something someone else has already said or done. It’s the absolutely bare minimum in response and adds nothing to the conversation, so refrain from “This” this.

Woot: Can I get a woot woot? No, no you may not.

The superfluous use of emoticons on any and all correspondence: Use your words, friends!

Seriously: Seriously, I am so guilty of seriously overusing seriously.

Real talk: R. Kelly’s epic video for “Real Talk” came out in 2007, which is about the last time you could get through the day without someone prefacing something uncouth/nasty/mean by calling it “real talk.”

Mancession: First of all, the concept that the recession has somehow inordinately impacted men is patently untrue. Secondly, the use of made up words like “mancession” and “mansplaining” assumes that men are some special category that needs to be condescended to, and they’re not. 

Amazeballs/amaze: The word is amazing. Putting balls at the end of it, or cutting the suffix off doesn’t count. And while we’re at it, not everything is amazing, so reserve it for when it really counts.

—mageddon: Snowmageddon. Tweetmageddon. Carmageddon. Armageddon signals the end of the world. We’re pretty sure that anything involving traffic in Los Angeles or communicating in 140 characters or less probably won’t impact whether the earth implodes. 

No bueno: Your knowledge of Spanish doesn’t extend beyond the drive-thru menu at Taco Bell, so stop telling me that things are “no bueno.”

Trending: This might be the most annoying gerund ever.

“I got thrown under the bus”/”he/she threw me under the bus”: You’d think after 20+ years of reality TV programming, people on reality TV would find a new way to say that they felt betrayed.

Belieber/Twihard/Gleek:  No more specialty names for being obsessive fans of a TV show, movie or prepubescent pop star, okay?

Swag/Swagger: If you have it, you don’t talk about it.

Winning: If you’re “winning” then you’re probably losing. And if you’re losing, you should just keep your mouth shut. See also, the living example of Charlie Sheen. 

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