I wish I was making this up. I really do. But no. This is real (emphasis mine):
“Dear Mrs. Cain Don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, ‘Honey, get a life, I believe my husband.’ We want you to be our First Lady Mrs. Cain!”
That, my friends, is a “testimonial” from “Barbara of Nipomo, California” on the brand-spanking-new Women For Herman Cain website that launched this morning.
Just makes you want to go right out and vote for Herman Cain, doesn’t it, ladies?
The Cain campaign is doing damage control after weeks of women coming forward claiming he sexually harassed them or carried on years-long extramarital affairs. (The candidate has said he will announce whether he will stay in the race this weekend or Monday.) It decided the best way to underscore how Herman Cain loves the ladies (no, not that way) was with a soft-purple hued web site called Women For Cain featuring mash notes from women
who write love letters to guys on death row who don’t believe the “lies” and think Cain is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
The page isn’t about anything that Herman Cain has done for women, mind you. In fact, he is anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage and is accused of insinuating a woman needed to have sex with him in order to get a job. Instead, Women For Cain brags about the queen of the Stand By Your Man Brigade, Gloria Cain:
Gloria Cain is the National Chairperson for “Women for Cain” and is the very special woman who Mr. Cain devoted his life to many years ago. Mr. Cain and Gloria celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary earlier this year. The couple has two children and three grandchildren and a legacy of family, friends, and community and church involvement.
That kind of wife-washing (a word I just made up to describe making the candidate and his wife look like America’s Most Happy Couple Ever) is not exactly new to politics. Even Michelle Obama got a mommy-makeover by the 2008 campaign to play down her lawyer background and Princeton and Harvard degrees, lest she seem “threatening.” But the real ridiculousness here is the testimonials. Some choice excerpts:
“It’s pathetic and shameful women are so desperate for their five minutes of fame that they would position themselves against the greatest potential president Americans could be blessed enough to have.”
“Mrs Cain, I just want to say that you are an amazing woman to have to survive this liberal lynching of your husband.”
“As a REAL woman I do not believe for one second any of these ‘women’ that have crawled out from under a rock somewhere to defame you and bring pain to you and your family. They are pitiful creatures at the very least, and evil at the most. Isn’t it convenient that they have suddenly become offended by supposed advances by you now after all these years, my goodness, poor babies, how have they been able to bare up under the pain for all these oh so many years… LIARS, LIARS, LIARS…GO GET THEM HERMAN AND PLEASE DO NOT QUIT!!!!”
Do these women actually exist (i.e. the Cain campaign didn’t invent them)? I’m going to assume so, since the text and the pictures accompanying them read “real” (with “real” incorrect grammar and everything!). And that might be the scary part — that dozens and dozens of women apparently will throw Sharon Bialek, Ginger White, and the other women under the bus, branding them liars and hussies and downright pure “evil” for daring to accuse him of naughty behavior.