Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who’s Addicted To Pulling Hair From The Drain

Dear Evan,

First off, how was your Thanksgiving? Mine was pretty great. Over the holiday weekend, I spent some quality time catching up on episodes of my fave TV shows that I managed to miss, including “My Strange Addiction.” And that’s how I came to know you and decided that you would make a great boyfriend for me. You’re addicted to pulling hair out of shower drains. I have a lot of hair in my shower drain that needs to be pulled out. See? We already have so much in common. 

I am a total neat freak, but if there’s one household chore that literally makes me dry heave, it’s cleaning my shower drain. I have a lot of hair and I usually lose about 10 strands every time I shower so my drain fills up pretty quick. I put off unclogging it as long as I can. But if you, Evan, were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t have to unclog it. You could do it for me, which seems like a pretty sweet deal for both of us. What do you say? Will you be my boyfriend?