Happy Black Friday everyone! Hope your Thanksgiving was fabulous and fattening and as devoid of family drama as possible. It is a straight up miracle that I was not up and out of bed this morning at 4 a.m., ready to raid the stores like the shopaholic that I am. But you know what? Over the last few weeks, I made a decision not to participate in the rush to spend — after all, Black Friday is just a fancy, corporate-generated pseudo-holiday designed to make the masses feel good about blowing their money. And you know what? There are so many BETTER things to do on this lovely Black Friday than battling long lines and psychotic deal lovers — after the jump, I’ve got 10 suggestions for things you could do instead that will be relatively bruise free. (Seriously, at least one poor sap gets trampled at a Walmart every year.)
1. Go to the movies. I recommend seeing “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” “Like Crazy,” and “Melancholia,” plus, the new “Muppets” movie is in theaters today!
2. Make mulled wine. Step 1: Make mulled wine following the instructions here. Step 2: Drink mulled wine. Step 3: Repeat Step 2 until you pass out on the couch.
3. Start reading a new book (or finish the one you’re already reading). Here’s what The Frisky staff members are reading right now. I am determined to finish The Marriage Plot and then start reading Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
4. Go to a museum. Chances are, the museums will be almost as crowded as the stores, but people don’t trample each other to get a look at some Jackson Pollack mess. Museums are safer AND more cultural, plus, if you’re just dying to spend, you can hit the museum shop on the way out, but that would be cheating, FYI.
5. Read a frickin’ newspaper. Finally form your own informed opinion on Occupy Wall Street, catch up on the situations in Egypt and Greece, and assess the Republican presidential hopefuls and their opinions on the issues that matter to you. Reward yourself with the crossword and the funny pages.
6. Put off your post-Thanksgiving diet: You have leftovers to eat. Seriously, I am not starting my 14 day cleanse until Monday, after I’ve inhaled every morsel of turkey, stuffing and pie chillin’ in my fridge.
7. Take a Self Pop Tart Photo. If you don’t have Pop Tarts, I suppose you will have to go out and buy them, though I guess that would be cheating on the whole “no shopping” thing.
8. Practice braiding your hair. Follow one of the nine tutorials we posted about early in the week.
9. Reenact one of your favorite album covers. And then submit the photo to Sleeveface.com.
10. Start a Tumblr blog dedicated to something random. I would not be surprised to learn that some of my most favorite random blogs — like Cheese People, Fuck Yeah Feminist Ryan Gosling, Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses, and The Kitten Covers – were initially thought up the day after a holiday.
And, look, if you want to start your holiday shopping or you know that, say, Madewell is having an epic sale on something you realllllllly want, by all means, go to the dang mall and knock yourself out. And if that’s the case, here are some Black Friday survival tips.
Regardless of how you spend the day, enjoy it!