- Sofia Vergara’s former publicist told her to get a breast reduction because “nobody’s going to take you seriously here,” she told Health magazine. Sofia’s mom back in Colombia flipped at the idea of reducing her 34 DD cups, telling her daughter, “‘God is going to punish you!'” Sofia Vergara has kept her natural breasts, of course, and is happy with her body today. Yay for accepting your body the way it is! [US Weekly]
- The Situation is suing Abercrombie & Fitch for $4 million, an entirely reasonable sum of money, for claiming this summer to have asked him to stop wearing their clothes. [Entertainment Weekly]
- Lindsay Lohan found a bloody, severed human hand in the trash at the L.A. morgue, where she’s completing her community service. Just kidding! It was just a prank by other morgue employers, because they supposedly think she’s snobby. At least that’s what The National Enquirer says. [Gossip Cop]
- Would you go on a date for the free meal? (I’ve heard some women do this.) [YourTango]
- Moustache nails are too cute! [Glamour]
- Yes, there are women who’ve had more kids than Michelle Duggar, who is pregnant with her 20th kid. You can go camping underneath the folds of their labia. [The Stir]
- The seven types of arrogant men you need to avoid. “Kanye West” counts as a type, right? [Madame Noire]
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.