I don’t mean to be hater, but I don’t get Jessica Lowndes‘ “I Wish I Was Gay” music video at all. The title didn’t exactly lead with high expectations, but the content of the video is going to make this women’s studies minor’s head explode: She’s performing at a burlesque club when her cheating boyfriend shows up, she “punishes” him by hopping into his lap in a corset and fishnets, bending over to reveal her panties, and rubbing her boobs in his face. Yeah! Woo hoo! You go, girl! That’ll show him!
It’s not all just a sexy burlesque performance, though: she ties his arms down and rubs red lipstick all over his face, but, uh, I’m still not seeing where the punishment part comes in. At the very, very end of the video Jessica wacks this cheater in the head with a cane, but a) violence is bad, and b) that’s hardly an appropriate punishment after she just gave him the most raging boner of his life.
That’s not even the worst part, though. All the while Jessica is singing about how much life would be easier if she just dated women: “I wish I was gay / I wish I could see how to escape those boys / they always treat me the same / breaking my heart / well girls just don’t behave that way.”
I’m sure 99.9 percent of us straight girls have had those “UGH MEN” moments where we’ve wanted to give up on the other gender. That doesn’t make us permanently gay; that just makes us briefly wanting to give up on the other gender. Being gay (or bisexual, or trans) isn’t just this thing you do when being with men isn’t working out for you. And anyway, lesbians do cheat. They do. The whole “I wish I was a lesbian because that’s easier” thing is the most the most ignorant B.S. It’s a catchy song and I love the burlesque outfits, but sorry, Jessica Lowndes, this music video is a male masturbatory fantasy of the highest order.