Lock up the Kotex, Mom and Dad! Teens are apparently inserting vodka-soaked tampons vaginally and rectally to get drunk. Granted, this could be another urban legend like so-called “rainbow parties.” But it also could be a legit way the kids are getting wasted these days: A super-sized tampon can hold about a shot of vodka, and when consumed in such a manner, the booze absorbs directly into the blood stream.
“There’s no barrier, there’s no stomach acid, there’s nothing to prevent it [from absorbing],” police officer Chris Thomas told KPHO news. Teens seem to be drawn to the “method” as it is easy to conceal and it produces a quick inebriation without leaving tell-tale alcohol breath. (Good God, kids, invest in a pack of double-mint gum!) But know this, kiddies: booze consumption via your personal orifices doesn’t throw off a breathalizer test — they detect alcohol level in your blood, not your breath. And wait, there’s more that kids today are apparently doing: rectal beer bongs. Yes, rectal beer bongs! When you consider anal chugging, the tampon practice seems passé.
As can be expected, putting alcohol in your vagina or anus has serious health implications. In addition to physical irritation, it’s hard to garner how much alcohol one has consumed, and common signs of alcohol poisoning, such as vomiting, do not occur. Furthermore, the practice can bamboozle health professionals, which can delay treatment if you’re really sick.
Sigh. What happened to the good ol’ days when kids where simply ditching class and drinking beers?
Contact the author of this post at Stefanie@TheFrisky.com.