Men Love A Good Striptease In A Public Bathroom, Says Axe

Romance?! Who wants romance?! Feh! Yuck! Pa-tooey! Bring on scantily-clad strippers in public bathrooms! All men need an ass grinding against their crotch after the appetizer — and not their girlfriend’s, silly, but a stranger. They need fresh poontang constantly! That’s just the way men are. 

Axe, you’ve outdone yourself with this Spanish-language ad. The transcript for this train wreck — which aired in Argentina, a country that apparently has a holiday called Boyfriend’s Day — after the jump.

According to Guanabee, a Latino culture blog, the subtitles read:

Last September 24th, it was Boyfriend’s Day.

What does Axe have to say to boyfriends?

Hey, dude. There’s nothing to celebrate.

We know you want to be with all of them, except with the one you’re with.

That’s why we set up some secret installation in the men’s room,

And gave them 5 minutes of singledom.

Welcome to the Axe Strip Toilette.

This is just a way of reminding guys that they are “castrating themselves” by limiting the power of the Axe effect to just one girl.”

Girl: What took you so long?
Guy: The restroom was a mess.
Girl: Oh, sorry to hear that.

Because we all know being single is just like that, especially if you’re the kind of dude who is a regular client at strip clubs. [Guanabee]

Contact the author of this post at [email protected] Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.