Creepy Perv Made 5,000+ Calls About Pantyhose

Someone’s got a fetish and hasn’t found an appropriate outlet for it yet! Over the course of a 53-day period in 2010, a gentleman named Rip Alan Swartz made 6,575 calls — maxing out at 432 on one particular September day — trying to get women to chat about pantyhose. His failproof tactic? Swartz would dial businesses and begin to politely discuss the weather before redirecting the conversation to questions and comments about pantyhose. You know, natural conversational flow.

The criminal investigation began after employees of a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Pennsylvania contacted the police, concerned about the phone calls they had received. Cops later discovered that Swartz had repeatedly called a local Hooters, as well as other restaurants, banks, call centers, and hotels as far away as the Philippines.

In one Pennsylvania county, he’s been sentenced to nine months in prison for his offenses, and in another Pennsylvania county, he’s been sentenced to probation. He claims to be “ashamed,” but I’m not buying it.  Call me, Rip!