Would You Pay For Crooked Teeth?

At around age 14, I got braces to straighten my protruding incisor teeth; they looked like fangs, basically. I also had to wear rubberbands to correct my overbite. For three years, I had some form of metal in my mouth and as a result my smile is now pretty close to “perfect”; it would be closer to perfect if I had deigned to wear my retainer more. 

Apparently — and don’t tell my parents, who spent thousands on orthodontics over those few years — my straight teeth are also terribly unstylish. A story in Sunday’s New York Times Style section reveals that crooked smiles are all the rage in Japan. Called “yaeba,” or “double tooth” in Japanese, if  you’re not snaggle-toothed naturally — or had your snaggle corrected by orthodontics as a teenager — you can get the look cosmetically, as women are opting to have fake snaggles attached to their real teeth with glue. Consider my mind blown.

Now, if you think this trend is somehow related to women and girls accepting their imperfect smiles in some sort of positive self-esteem move, think again; as most ridiculous beauty trends do, this one comes back to men. According to the Times, the crooked look on women is popular with men because it gives their smile an “approachable” and “youthful” vibe. Gross. Look, if you’ve naturally got crooked teeth and don’t want or have the money to pay for braces, more power to you. The Frisky is down with your right to snaggle, trust. But getting “The Kirsten Dunst” or “The Jewel” to appeal to men who are intimidated by a mature set of straight chompers is possibly the stupidest trend I’ve heard of, like, ever. [NY Times]