“I was never that fat,” Kelly Osbourne said of Christina Aguilera‘s look at the Michael Jackson Tribute Concert. Kelly justified her unkind remarks with this: ”She called me fat for so many f**king years … so you know what? F**k you! You’re fat too.” Oh. No. She. Didn’t.
Kelly is going to regret having made these statements, I know she will. As soon as she gets over her anger, the embarrassment will set in. Look, it’s no secret that Christina appears to be going through some crap right now. She just got divorced, she may have a drinking problem, there are rumors that she isn’t very well-liked on the set of “The Voice,” and, yeah, her weight has been kind of up and down. I’m sure these things are only exacerbated by the world watching her every move. Especially Kelly Osbourne, who seems intent on kicking her while she’s down. Last month, she called Christina a “fat bitch” during an episode of “Fashion Police.”
Oh Kelly, don’t you know that getting revenge on a bully by bullying them in return is not the way to go? You’d think that, as a girl who struggled with drug and alcohol issues, saw her weight go up and down over the years, and also went through a public breakup, Kelly would have some compassion for someone going through similar struggles, whether or not that person called her names in the past.
As a former fat kid myself, I think the one benefit of surviving all the teasing was coming out the other end a more empathetic person. When you know how much it hurts to be called fat, it’s not something you do to others.
I remember there was one girl who was particularly mean to me in 5th grade. I’ll call her Karen. She banished me from hanging out with the popular girls because I “wasn’t thin enough.” I cried myself to sleep that night and wrote journal entries for weeks about how all I wanted was to be thin so I would have friends. Her remarks left a permanent scar on my self-esteem.
Eventually I got over the pain, moved on with my life, and forgot about Karen. Last Christmas, I was home visiting my family. We went out to a sports bar for dinner. Sitting outside the restaurant on a bench was Karen. I knew it was her even though she looked totally different. Karen was fat. Like really fat. Her face was all broken out, her clothes were unflattering, she was chain smoking cigarettes. She looked miserable. She was a far cry from the thin, popular girl who used to tease me, who I longed to fit in with. I, on the other hand, looked pretty darn good compared to my 5th grade self. I could have taken that moment to gloat or to shame Karen in some way. Instead I approached her, said hello, and asked how she was doing. I forgave her for what she said more than 20 years ago. I’m happy now and that’s really all that matters. Besides, Karen didn’t need me to make her feel bad. Based on our brief conversation, I got the idea that she already felt bad enough without any help.
There’s something to be said for the importance of inner beauty. Being 50 pounds slimmer doesn’t make Kelly a beautiful person … but being kind would. Is there a diet for that?