“Being kicked out of the club? Meatball problems! Burning your cooca in the Jacuzzi? Meatball problems!” When Toys ‘R Us makes a Snooki doll, this is what I want mine to say. Yes, on last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” Snooki and Deena got in an ice-cube throwing fight (!) at a club and got kicked to the curb on their leopard print-covered asses. But that’s nothing compared to the two (!!) fights The Situation tried to start. Well, three fights, if you count the spatula that Deena threw at his head after he yelled something misogynist at her.
After the jump, the good, the bad and the WTF on last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore”:
- Snooki gets a dose of reality, finally. She tells Jionni she cheated on him with Vinny and he tells her that he can’t be her boyfriend right now. Repeat after me, Snooks: actions have consequences.
- Pauly D is smart enough to know sleeping with his good friend Deena is probably a terrrrrrrrible idea.
- Someone needs to make a GIF of Vinny mimicking how Pauly D has sex — “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!” — immediately so I can post it on The Frisky.
- How weird is it that Sammi has been the voice of reason in the house for the past several episodes? Sammi! I know, right?
- Everyone seems to have wised up to the fact that Mike is a douchebag, because when they start talking about rooming arrangements back in Jersey, no one wants to share his room. And when you get locked in the bathroom and no one wants to help you get out, it’s a bad sign.
- Seriously, Deena needs to stop begging, pleading and throwing herself at Pauly. I’m all for women being the aggressors in sex. That’s actually what I love about Deena. But hells bells, the girl is acting D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E. Does she not own a vibrator or what?
- Ronnie and Sammi kissed on the lips, which I guess means they’re back together? Sigh.
- Mike tries to be a tough guy and pick a fight at a club when the crowd starts chanting “Piece of s**t!” and “Shame!” Even Ronnie — Ronnie! — is able to hang back and not get involved in that drama.
- A bartender at a club called Central Park throws ice cubes at Snooki and Deena. So of course Snooki starts smashing things on the bar so much that bouncers pick them both up and toss them to the curb.
- The kitchen is a mess and Mike screams at Deena, “Do something! Be a woman!” And while I don’t condone violence, I don’t necessarily blame her for throwing a spatula at him after he said that.
- “Compromisation” is not a word, Sammi. Nice try, though.
- Oh, what a clever plot twist: another night, another club, another tough-guy-fight picked by The Situation. But this time, all the guys in the house literally ditch him to go drink by themselves.
- Some girl at da club touched Pauly’s hair without asking permission first! Come on, girl, even I know not to do that.
- This quote from Pauly D: “I gotta bring home a girl so Deena does not come into my bed. I’m not trying to smoosh Deena!” A foolproof plan, that is.
- The many hot pink lipsticks owned by Deena deserve their own Tumblr. Actually, I might start it.
- After a night of drunken partying and Deena and Snooki throw on their most boobalicious dresses, their highest boots, and their leopard print hats to go out again at 7:30 in the morning. What they should be going to is an AA meeting.
I, for one, have seen The Situation’s true colors — deceptive, bullying, misogynist — since “Jersey Shore”‘s first season. Thank God the entire house has figured out he should be put on an ice floe and pushed towards the Arctic Circle. Figuratively speaking, of course. Although the Arctic Circle idea is not such a bad one.
Is everyone else as thrilled as I am that Mike is finally getting his comeuppance?
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.