Oh, the joys of family: this weekend my conservative older sister is coming to visit, which means I’ve got to get my act together. Sweep the floor. Hide the Percosets. And for God’s sake, unplug the vibrator. Luckily I have a designated “goodie drawer” where I keep my toys, but in high school I hid my very first vibe amongst my undies and prayed that neither of my parents ever tried to put away my laundry.
Snoopers be snoopin’ and a girl’s gotta be prepared. Here are 13 places you could hide vibrators of all sizes and (probably) not get caught!
- Cookie jar
- In this awful hide-a-vibe bear
- Inside the tissue box next to the bed
- In the freezer
- Under the mattress (like the princess and the pea!)
- In your pillowcase
- Tampon box or bag of pads
- Inside a vase, obscured by pretty flowers
- In one of the drawers of your jewelry box
- Inside one of those plastic egg-shaped containers that hold L’Eggs tights
- In a purse you don’t use anymore
- Underneath that sombrero you got in Cancun
- In a cereal box. (Hey, don’t blame us, blame Cosmo.)