Morning Quickies: Ashton Kutcher’s Mistress Sara Leal Talks Sex

  • Sara Leal, the woman whom Ashton Kutcher allegedly had banged after partying at a San Diego nightclub and then sharing some naked hottub time, is cashing in on the cover of US Weekly. She says Ashton told her that he and wife Demi Moore were “separated.” Sara Leal also wants you to know Ashton “was good. It wasn’t weird or perverted.” But he did ask this good Lutheran girl from Texas “Are you a Republican?” and talked about Rick Perry after sex, which sounds quite perverted to me. The best (worst?) part: these clowns didn’t wear a condom. [US Weekly]
  • A picture of dead Michael Jackson, with only his private parts obscured, was shown on gossip sites like the UK’s Daily Mail, and the UK’s Mirror as they covered the trial of his doctor, Conrad Murray. Have some effing taste, people. [Celebitchy]
  • Here’s Ryan Gosling, looking gangster. No, really, he’s dressed like a gangster. [Celebuzz]
  • Beyoncé is planning a maternity line for her line House of Deréon. Is this all part of the Illuminati plot, too, Amelia? [People]
  • Speaking of which, Beyoncé’s rep calls rumors that her pregnancy is fake “stupid, ridiculous and false.” [People]
  • The Osbournes are procreating: Jack Osbourne’s fianceé Lisa Stelly is pregnant. [People]
  • Is Gwyneth Paltrow trying to run over these paparazzi with her bicycle? ‘Cuz that would be bad-ass. [The Superficial]
  • This is the best video of a moose inside an in-ground swimming pool you’ll see all day. [The Hairpin]
  • If I didn’t post this photo of a baby panda and SQUEEEE!, then I wouldn’t be Jessica Wakeman. [BuzzFeed]
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