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Jeffrey Campbell, Are You Out Of Your Damn Mind?

Okay, I have had it with you, Jeffrey Campbell. Some of your shoes are great, but holy hell dude, most of your shoes are straight out of my disco tranny nightmares (yes, I have disco tranny nightmares). What are you thinking, with the platform, and the pleather, and the fringe and just so muuuuuuuuuch? Also, do you hate ladies, because it seems like you might be trying to kill us all with the completely untenable platforms and ankle-busting heels. It’s just craze. Unadulterated craze. And though many of your shoes may be appropriate footwear for say, introductory classes at clown college, or a night in an ecstasy-fueled rave cave, we cannot really abide by the Jeffrey Campbell-ization of America. Moderation people, moderation.

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