- Breathe easy, everyone: Sarah Palin is not seeking the GOP nomination for president. In a statement released yesterday, Palin said, “As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.” Translation: I can make a hell of a lot more money writing books, appearing on Fox News, and doing public speaking gigs. [ABC News]
- Speaking of Palin, one of her former handlers, Nicole Wallace, has written a novel about a mentally ill vice presidential candidate. “The idea of a mentally ill vice president who suffers in complete isolation was obviously sparked by the behaviors I witnessed by Sarah Palin,” Wallace told The Hill. “What if somebody who was ill-equipped for the office were to ascend to the presidency or vice presidency? What would they do? How long would it take for people to figure it out?” Oh, dear. [The Hill]
- Here’s Willow Smith’s new single “Fireball” with Nicki Minaj. You like? [RyanSeacrest.com]
- James Marsden will guest star on “30 Rock.” Damn that bitch Tina Fey! She gets all the hot guys. [Entertainment Weekly]
- Frances Bean Cobain, 19, just bought a $1.8 million home in Los Angeles. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised Frances has that kind of moolah. [Hollywood Reporter]
- My boyfriend, Penn Badgley from “Gossip Girl,” was photographed at the Occupy Wall Street protest in New York City last night. Swoon. [Gawker]
- Oh look, another douchey Hot-Or-Not knockoff. [Beta Beat]
If you have an article or blog post to submit to Quickies, send it to Jessica@TheFrisky.com. You can follow me on Twitter at @JesiscaWakeman.