Justin Theroux Gets Bolognied
Jennifer Aniston’s neighbors do not seem to approve of her boyfriend, Justin Theroux. The actor, artist and writer often parks his BMW motorcycle in front of his lady’s house. And apparently, when a neighbor walked their dog past the bike this morning at 8 a.m., it was covered in bologna. As in, someone had stuck the much-maligned sandwich meat to the seat, wheels, handlebars, etc. “I got the impression it was some weird message, like, ‘You’re full of bologna,’ ” the neighbor said to Page Six. “The bike was in otherwise in fine condition.” A few hours later, the bologna was gone.
I am now obsessed with the idea of bologna-ing things. It’s far kinder than keying someone’s car, as it doesn’t actually do any damage that will need to be repaired. And it’s feels slightly more amusing than toilet papering, which—hello—we are out of high school. Here’s hoping that bologna-ing catches on.