An Imagined Conversation With This Model (And His Beaver)

Model: Heeeeeeyyyy girl!

Me: Oh, umm, hi.

Model: Would you like to pet my beaver?

Me: Not really, no.

Model: Are you sure? It’s soft and furry…Me: Yeah I’m really sure.

Model: My beaver just wants to be touched.

Me: How long have you been making this joke?

Model: Most of the day. Part of last night. And it’s still funny!

Me: I’m gonna have to disagree with you there.

Model: Oh come on, look! It’s a beaver! On my crotch! Beaver is a euphemism for vagina! Fuuunnnnyyyyy!

Me: I mean, yeah, I guess it’s kind of funny.

Model: Yep. I told you!

Me: But maybe you should focus on the fact that your beaver has the body language of, like, a 65-year-old British literature professor who is making an important point about Chaucer. That’s funny.

Model: Wanna feel my wet beaver?

Me: Nevermind.