The Good, The Bad & The WTF: Babysitting Drunk Meatballs On “Jersey Shore”

What a hot mess. No, I’m not talking about last night’s “Jersey Shore” episode — I’m talking about Snooki. The gang took a weekend trip to Riccione; it’s a beach town that’s supposed to be the Seaside Heights of Italy, only it’s a million times classier. Most of the house wants to enjoy the beach and the beautiful weather. Snooki and Deena, though, plunged face-first into daytime drinking and exhibitionistic foolishness with such enthusiasm that they pissed off the other roommates before it was even dark out. I don’t blame them! Babysitting drunk meatballs is not how I’d want to spend my vacation, either.

I think I’m over Snooki. Like, over. Every irresponsible and crappy thing she does isn’t her fault and she doesn’t deserve. Talk about entitlement. She’s like a little orange Lindsay Lohan. Find out more about why I’m finished, after the jump: The Good:

  • Not much good happened during this episode, to be honest. I mean, Snooki apparently calls penises “ding dongs.” Can we bring that back?
  • And at least Sammi and Ronnie weren’t the ones to ruin the trip to Riccione, right?
  • For some reason, it warms my heart that the boys were embarrassed by Snooki and Deena’s makeout session in the club. At least they have some dignity … right?
  • At least Snooki did the right thing and told Jionni that she cheated on him with Deena. Say what you will about that hot mess of a meatball — at least she’s honest.

The Bad:

  • None of these people have a work ethic but they bitch about how “hard” they work. I’m over it. You work at a pizza parlor. You’re not friggin’ conflict negotiators for the United Nations. Just STFU already.
  • The first thing the girls’ do when they belly up to the bar in Riccione is order something to get drunk … and I’m pretty sure it’s not even lunchtime yet.
  • What kind of girl friends leave their balls-ass-wasted friends by themselves on the beach? I’m not saying Snooki and Deena weren’t annoying. But ditching your annoying drunk friends is how bad s**t happens. (And later in the show, J-Woww and Sammi actually have a conversation about how “Deena and Nicole are going to get abducted.”)
  • Deena dances so hard at the club that her underwear comes off. In fairness, it was probably a thong as tight as a piece of string.
  • Why the hell did Snooki drive from Riccione back to Florence? She must have been hungover as balls. Somebody else needs to learn how to drive stick in this house.
  • I’m pretty sure Deena wasn’t wearing a seatbelt during the car accident, judging by how far forward she flung when they crashed. Also, why was Snooki driving without a license?

The WTF:

  • Snooki’s relentless complaints that her roommates are worried about her relationship with Jionni, her judgey-wudgy boyfriend. Having friends who care about your well-being isn’t something to bitch about.
  • Two words: “Team Coo-ca.”
  • An Italian guy at the bar in Riccione hears the girls teaching the bartender crude terms for “vagina” in English and lectures them that it’s not a good way for women to talk. I’m torn between their “ugly American behavior” and thinking that Italian guy is being a sexist douche. Thoughts?
  • This quote: “Deena is showing her coo-ca to the entire club.” And then this one: “AlI I know is [she] needs a wax.”
  • Having to take a Breathalyzer test during the daytime is pathetic, Snooki. Pa. The. Tic.

Am I being too harsh on Snooki? Or is everyone else over her entitled whining, too? Let us know in the comments.

[ “Jersey Shore”]

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