The Good, The Bad & The WTF: Ronnie Pummels Mike On “Jersey Shore”

There’s always arguing on “Jersey Shore.” Sammi and Ronnie. Deena and Vinny. Snooki and The Situation. But last night, though, there was an actual fight between Ronnie and The Situation: screaming, fist throwing, and more testosterone than a monster truck show.

The Situation is either one brave mo-fo or a complete idiot, because anyone who has seen Ronnie’s Hulk muscles would not want to challenge him to a fight while drunk. (That man scares me and I’m not exaggerating.) Which one is Sitch: brave or idiot? Check out our The Good, The Bad & The WTF recap and decide for yourself …The Good:

  • The look on Ronnie’s face when Vinny describes how Deena “robbed” the blonde American twin he was hooking up with. Girl-on-girl has obviously been a main event in Ron-Ron’s masturbatory fantasies since the 7th grade.
  • I’m sorry, but I think Deena’s robbery is pretty badass. It’s bad, but it’s also badass.
  • J-Woww is a really great girl friend that has her friends’ backs. When Snooki says she didn’t cheat on her boyfriend Jionni with Mike, her best friend believes her with no questions asked. “If he’s wants to leave her over somebody running his mouth, then they shouldn’t be together,” J-Woww said. She also confronts the boys for razzing on Deena too much. Damn straight.
  • Vinny’s joke about Deena’s hookup with the twin: “At least the carpets were actually cleaned today!”
  • Nothing makes me happier than when The Situation breaks the third wall and talks directly to the cameras.
  • The girls all wore giant floppy hats and tight dresses with their boobs out for Sunday dinner and The Situation says, “They look like the Kentucky Derby f**ked the Easter Bunny.”
  • When The Situation chastises Deena over Sunday dinner for robbing Vinny’s hookup, she throws it right back in his face that he’s committed robberies on Vinny a bunch of times before. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
  • Not to defend Pauly D, who was a douche for 9/10ths of the episode, but what he said to Deena showed a level of maturity you barely ever see with him: “If you have your own issues, I wish you would have told me that. ‘Yo, I’ve got problems,’ or something. ‘Lay off the jokes for awhile.’ Because sometimes my jokes are harsh.”
  • Ronnie bought Sammi a bunch of presents for no reason. That’s so cute! He can be kind of sweet when he’s not a drunk hulking meathead.

The Bad:

  • Ronnie, Sammi, alcohol, arguing: here we go again.
  • Sammi and Snooki’s reaction when they hear the blonde American twin (do these people have names?) went down on Deena is “EWWWW!” Oh, for f**k’s sake, people. And then later Snooki is talking about a “lesbi-onic” experience she had onetime and calls it “weird.” Y’all are in glass houses and should not be throwing stones.
  • Snooki asks, “Can we all do the silent treatment to Mike?” How old are you?
  • Deena got all pissed off that the boys were “judging” her for hooking up with a girl. First of all, those monkeys are the last four men on Earth whose opinion any woman should give a crap about. Second of all, I don’t think they were judging her for hooking up with a girl but for “committing a robbery.” Deena can be a bit of a Sensitive Sally sometimes.
  • The boys moved Deena’s bed out of their room “as a joke.” That’s just s**tty.
  • Ronnie’s “I don’t put p***y on a pedestal!” speech. (At least he was drunk.)
  • Ronnie shoves Sammi a bunch of times before he attacks The Situation. SHOVES. This is not surprising for Ronnie, but it’s still unnerving.

The WTF:

  • The sleeping mask Snooki wears over her face says “Totally Trashed.”
  • Please, someone make a YouTube video of all the burping in this episode.
  • This quote from The Situation: “Deena now has a criminal record of c**kblocking now. This is a serious offense and it’s going to be on her permanent record for at least seven years.”
  • Snooki tells one of the Italian guys at the pizza place where they work, “I don’t know what the f**k you’re saying any time you talk to me.” Rude, much?
  • What the hell is Ronnie doing talking to that girl he used to date, Hannah, on the phone and encouraging her to come visit? Is he stupid or something? (Don’t answer that.)
  • I really don’t want to hear Snooki whine about how working at a pizza parlor sucks. Girl, you’re a professional drunk for a living. Stop complaining about it.
  • Vinny says “I don’t speak Italian fluently but there is an international language of love.” Camera pans to an image of his hand on a girl’s ass.
  • Who are these girls who come over to smoosh The Situation when he calls them at four in the morning?!?!

I would never condone violence. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was secretly pleased that Ronnie finally called The Situation out for being a weasly two-faced instigator. It was a long-time coming, no? With all that being said, the violence that started in this episode and continues into next week is incredibly disturbing.

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[ “Jersey Shore”]