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The Good, The Bad & The WTF: Kim Kardashian’s Wedding

In the 48 hours since Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries tied the knot in Montecito, California, we’ve been getting a pretty continuous stream of details of what went down at the nuptials. After the jump, the good, the bad, and the WTF of the biggest reality television wedding of the summer. Sorry, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. The Good:

  • Kim looked amazing. Big duh. With a classic updo and a strapless white Vera Wang ball gown, Kim was totally stunning. I even dug the dripping-in-diamonds headband. The only thing I would have changed—the earrings. They were just a touch too much.
  • Kris’ white tux. I like that he went for a bold look. And he really does have the sweetest face.
  • Kim keeping things in the family. I like that she didn’t have a zillion bridesmaids. Instead, she had Kourtney and Khloe as co-maids of honor, and her half-sisters Kendall and Kylie as her bridesmaids.
  • Mason’s walk down the aisle. So adorable how he dangled his ring bearer pillow from the corner. As guest Kathie Lee Gifford remembers, “He was just the cutest thing. It just reminded me of the stunning contrast for me at this wedding. It was typically Kardashian, over-the-top crazy … But [Mason] just made it so human.”
  • Kris’ speech at the reception. According to guests, he gave a super touching speech. He revealed that he had trouble accepting the public nature of Kim’s life was at first, which seems very honest to me.
  • The star-studded 450-person guest list. Some of the attendess: Serena Williams, Eva Longoria, Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan, Babyface, Vera Wang, Mario Lopez, Maria Menounos, Sugar Ray Leonard,Jillian Barberie, Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne.
  • Their first dance. It was to Robin Thicke’s “Angels.”
  • The wedding favors. The couple gave out heart-shaped Krispy Kreme donuts. Delicious and plays into their whole K name theme.

The Bad:

  • Kim’s three wedding gowns. I can sorta understand when a bride opts for two dresses—one for the ceremony and one that’s a little more comfortable for the reception. But three? Kim apparently needed a switcheroo midway through the party.
  • Kris Jenner’s dress choice. I am not a fan of the ginormo bow.
  • Khloe lied to us about the bridesmaid dress color. They didn’t wear green, krafty Khloe. They actually wore ivory.
  • Kourtney tripping while walking down the aisle. Though in her defense, it was insanely long.
  • That Justin Bieber skipped. Instead, he was at a Selena Gomez concert on the East Coast. Priorities, dude.
  • The party got shutdown early by the cops. Apparently, neighbors complained about the noise. A source says, “[Khloe] was talking to security guards — her friend’s family knows the mayor of Montecito and they tried even to get in touch with him.” I have a feeling most people in the area were aware the wedding was happening and could have dealt with some loud music for one night.
  • The other wedding favors. They also apparently gave out a box of candles embroidered with the letters “KK.” That’s just one short of KKK.
  • That the press is jumping on Lindsay Lohan for wearing white to the wedding. Apparently, guests were told to wear only black or white. Give the girl a break.
  • That Lindsay reportedly downed shots and partied hard. That we can criticize her for. Will she ever learn?
  • Kim’s “Mrs. Humphries” Juicy Couture track suit. She wore it the next day, when the couple left their Montecito hotel. Besides being ridiculous, Kim also looked mighty worse for the wear.

The WTF:

  • The cake was 6 feet tall. In other words, it was far taller than the bride.
  • The fact that the thing will become a four hour wedding special. I mean, that’s half a night of sleep.
  • That Kim is earning a reported $18 million for the wedding. With that kind of payday, who can afford not to get married?
  • Joel McHale was banned from making a sex tape joke before the wedding. Because his show “Talk Soup” is on E!, the same network as “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” and Kim’s wedding special.” Hello, this is the seed of Kim’s fame.
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