Culturista: Your Guide To The Week From “Our Idiot Brother” To The MTV VMAs

Let’s face it: keeping up with pop culture is difficult. With more than 1000 channels worth of TV shows, not to mention a new flood of movies and music every week, it’s practically a full-time job to keep up with everything. Luckily, it is my full-time job. So after the jump, your cheat sheet to the TV shows you need to watch, the albums you need to hear, the movies you need to see, and much, much more this week.
On the Small Screen:

  • The Millionaire Matchmaker,” tonight at 9 p.m. (EST) on Bravo. Sure it may be ratings-baiting to have Tori Spelling on an episode as an expert who’s supposed to teach a jerky guy that an ambitious woman can be a good wife. But I am that silly fish that will bite.
  • “Degrassi,” Monday through Thursday at 9 p.m. (EST) on TeenNick. The summer of nightly “Degrassi” continues and this week, someone’s gonna get shot at prom. But who? And who will be the shooter? I’m a little annoyed that they’re recycling the shooting plot—remember Jimmy Brooks?—but I’m still just curious enough to watch.
  • “Top Chef Just Desserts,” tonight at 10 p.m. (EST) on Bravo. The first season of this show proved that pastry chefs are (a) a little nuts and (b) like to cry. Yep, that’s exactly while I’ll be watching.
  • 2011 MTV Video Music Awards, Sunday at 9 p.m. (EST) on MTV. Even if you don’t enjoy the awards, per se, you should probably watch just in case something awesome happens. With Adele, Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, and Katy Perry performing—it could.

On the Big Screen:

  • “Our Idiot Brother,” out Friday. Paul Rudd fans, raise your hands. You’ll want to see this flick, even though his facial hair is truly horrible.
  • “Colombiana,” out Friday. Girl sees her parents murdered. She becomes an assassin. And vows to get revenge on the people who killed them. Is there any other way to become an assassin or superhero in pop culture?
  • “The Family Tree,” out Friday. The concept of this movie is funny—a majorly dysfunctional couple gets a chance to actually be happy when the wife gets amnesia and can’t remember how miserable they were. The awesome Hope Davis and Dermot Mulroney play the couple. Oh, and it’s the first time I’ve seen Rachael Lee Cook since “She’s All That.”

On Your Headphones:

  • Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Mirror Traffic, out Tuesday. For anyone who loved seeing Stephen with Pavement once again, the tunes on his new solo album will have you tapping your toes. Oh, and it’s produced by Beck, meaning it’s your ’90s dream come true.
  • Stephin Merrit, Obscurities, out Tuesday. It’s officially the week of the Stephens. Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Field has a new one, too. Well it’s actually unreleased stuff from all his assorted projects. But hey, we’ll take Stephin however we can get him.
  • Gabe Dixon, One Spark, out Tuesday. Gabe is kind of like a cuter Ben Folds—he writes piano pop-rock that will keep your spirits high at work. Even if it’s a Monday.

Also On Your Radar:

  • Patti Smith fans out there will be happy to know that on Tuesday, her collection of remastered singles, Outside Society, will be released. Yee haw!
  • If you and your honey get in a fight on Thursday, never fear. It’s National Kiss and Make Up Day.
  • Did you forget to see Morgan Spurlock’s hilarious documentary about product placement, “The Greatest Movie Ever Sold?” No worries, it’s out on DVD tomorrow.
  • New Yorkers should head out to Commodore Barry Park this weekend for the seventh annual Afro-punk Festival featuring Cee-Lo Green, Santigold, Janelle Monae, Das Racist, and Ninjasonik.

What are you looking forward to this week?

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