“Hey, girl, give me just a quick second. See those two guys fighting over a painting in the middle of the street? I’m gonna go run over there in my striped tank top and sweatpants and break that s**t up. You don’t mind waiting, do you, girl? It’ll only be a second and then we can be on our way to the Tasti-D-Lite just like we planned. Be right back.”
Next week, Ryan Gosling crawls into a very high tree and saves a stranded kitten. And in the season finale of “Ryan Gosling Is A F**king Superhero,” Ryan delivers a baby in the back of a taxi cab!