The Good, The Bad & The WTF: “Jersey Shore” Bites A Twin Sandwich

Are we surprised the Italians speak better English than the “Jersey Shore” cast does? Last night’s episode brought us new words like “romantical,” “conversating,” “twin sandwich” and of course, “twinning.” Why so much twin-talk? The Situation meets pretty blonde twins at a club — and one of them is a virgin — so naturally they bring these delightful specimens back to the house to smoosh. And true to the twin-theme, this episode had two times the drama:The Good:

  • Snooki is a workout queen! I like this new, healthy, and aesthetically improved Snooks.
  • “Deena is on a mission to find a freakin’ Italian man!” (Deena also refers to herself in the third person. She asks a cute waiter for his phone number, which is pretty ballsy of her. I love it that this girl can go out and get hers!
  • A “lean cuisine” is what the girls call a skinny dude, i.e. not a beefcake ‘roided up like Ronnie.
  • The Vinny-and-Pauly-D bromance just makes me happy, you know?
  • Ronnie and Sammi have a mature and adult conversation. During the daytime. While they’re sober. I know, right? They seem genuinely more mature about each other this season, but only six shots of buttery nipples at Flo will tell us for sure.
  • DEENA PERFORMED A ROBBERY ON ONE OF THE SITUATION’S HOOKUPS! As Pauly might say, “Yeeeeaaaah buddy!”
    Deena totally wins this episode.
  • Ronnie has finally wised up to the fact that there’s no guy code between him and Sitch. It only took him four seasons. He also gives Snooki some pretty solid advice to “woman up” and tell her boyfriend Jionni if she cheated herself.
  • J-Woww has Snooki’s back when she’s freaking out about Jionni breaking up with her and tells Snooki that if her boyfriend believes Mike over her, she does’t want a jerk like him anyway. Now that is girl code.

The Bad:

  • Ronnie and Sammi get back together with eachother while sitting at a cafe on a rooftop at sunset. “Look at how romantical (yes, romantical) that is!” Sammi says. Ronnie burps.
  • This quote from Snooki: “You want me to read [the map]? I get lost in a paper bag!” Why the hell can’t any of these people read a map? Everyone learns that in the second grade.
  • Snooki says wine in Italy for her is like a cup of coffee for normal people. This is not going to end well.
  • Snooki encourages Ronnie to get back together with Sammi because they’re “meant to be together.” No no no no no no no no no no.
  • The twin that Deena’s hooking up with crawls into bed with Vinny and makes out with him, too. IT’S A DOUBLE ROBBERY! And also all these people should probably get tested for the clap.
  • Snooki and The Situation screaming at each other is the new Ronnie and Sammi screaming at each other.

The WTF:

  • Sammi always wants to talk about her relationship with Ronnie at da club when she’s drunk. Girl, you got to stop doing that.
  • This quote from Snooki: “Is ‘Firenze’ Florence?” (Answer: yes.)
  • Do twin sisters really hook up with dudes together? Like, not on reality shows?
  • Vinny and Pauly D totally cockblocked Deena when she brought her “lean cuisine” Italian man home for a smoosh session. I understand it’s a dude friend’s prerogative to make fun of his platonic female friends at all times, but these chuckleheads were really being douchey.
  • The Situation’s blonde twins show up uninvited while the gang is partying at Flo and one of them literally pushes J-Woww out of the way. J-Woww is just about the last person on Earth I’d ever shove.
  • There’s always a hotter identical twin, apparently.
  • Ronnie tells all the girls that there’s a story Mike told him that he doesn’t want to repeat (about allegedly having sex with Snooki) and then promptly repeats the story. Is it he really too dumb to realize J-Woww is going to tell Snooki immediately? Oh, yeah, this is Ronnie we’re talking about.
  • This quote from Mike: “Everybody knows The Situation is not a liar.” Yes, everyone knows he’s just a paragon virtue, that one.

Do we believe that Snooki cheated on her boyfriend Jionni with Mike? Even though her tears seemed genuine, I feel like it may have happened because … well, it does sound like something they would do while drunk. What do readers think? [MTV: “Jersey Shore”]

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