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What Your Taste In Music Says About You (On A Date)

It’s one of the quintessential (and sometimes dreaded) first date questions: What kind of music are you into?

There’s a reason that most people tend to side-step this question with a deft, “A little bit of everything.” It’s because your taste in music reveals a lot about you to potential partners. Here’s the breakdown of 71 bands/musicians/singers and what they say about you…

  1. Bruce Springsteen: You’re a monster in the sack.
  2. Rod Stewart: You’re gross.
  3. David Bowie: You’re selective, but slutty.
  4. Kanye West: You’re kinda mean. In a hot way.
  5. Jay Z: You don’t take any shit. Or at least you know that you’re not supposed to.
  6. Beastie Boys: You believe that loyalty is rewarded.
  7. The Arcade Fire: You spend the first third of relationship in a romantic frenzy and the last two trying to justify it.
  8. The Ramones: Unless you’re over 40, you’re trying to be cool.
  9. Rush: You’re a man. And a nerdy one at that.
  10. Led Zeppelin: If you’re a woman, you’re hot. If you’re a guy, you’re average.
  11. AC/DC: If you’re a woman, you’re the kind of person who lets a guy move in with you after three dates because he’s temporarily homeless. If you’re a guy, you’re temporarily homeless.
  12. My Chemical Romance: You’re not so much looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend as someone to share a “fuckyeahsuperheroeskissing” Tumblr with.
  13. The Pixies: Relax. You’re cool.
  14. Talking Heads: You’re a good person.
  15. Stevie Wonder: You’re husband/wife material.
  16. Hall and Oates: You’re not the type to let your wistful nature ruin your good time.
  17. LCD Soundsystem: You’re not the type to let your strong sense of irony ruin your good time.
  18. Insane Clown Posse: You’re not the type to let common decency ruin your good time.
  19. Judas Priest: At some point in your life, you’ve sniffed a little glue.
  20. Belle and Sebastian: If you hook up, it’s gonna get weird.
  21. The Shins: You either really liked “Garden State,” or have a giant chip on your shoulder about how people only like The Shins because of “Garden State.”
  22. R.E.M.: You’ve got a big heart.
  23. Tori Amos: You cry during sex and get real quiet after.
  24. That One Peter, Bjorn and John song with the whistling: You’re a human being.
  25. The Mountain Goats: You’re very serious about your feelings.
  26. Van Morrison: You’re a romantic. Possibly with a slight drinking problem.
  27. No Doubt: If you’re a girl, you’re a confident person, but you know what it’s like to get treated like crap. If you’re guy, you’re just trying to get laid.
  28. Nirvana: You’re angry and hurt.
  29. Radiohead: You’re angry and hurt. But you’re open to getting some professional help.
  30. Bebel Gilberto: You’re going to flutter little kisses all over every inch of your date’s body and soon as you get the chance. Also: You’re a foodie.
  31. T-Rex: You’re an asshole.
  32. Bob Dylan: You’re an a**hole, but you don’t know it.
  33. The Strokes: You’re not really an a**hole, you just act like it sometimes.
  34. The White Stripes: You’re kind of kinky.
  35. Lil’ Kim: You’re really kinky.
  36. Peaches: If you’re not getting a handjob under the table right now, it’s because you’re giving one.
  37. Ani Difranco: You’re a good communicator. Maybe too good.
  38. John Mayer: You’re a virgin.
  39. Nickelback: You have low self-esteem and bad tattoos. But, god bless you.
  40. The Clash: You’re willing to work for it, but you’re kind of pissed that you have to.
  41. The Cure: You fall in love WAY too easily.
  42. Best Coast: You fall in love way too easily, but only for, like, a week.
  43. The Rolling Stones: You’re hot.
  44. Rihanna: You’re hot.
  45. Beyonce: You’re sweet, but not a pushover.
  46. Britney Spears: If you’re a gay guy or a woman, you’re normal. If you’re a straight guy, you’re trying to get laid.
  47. Mandy Moore: You have American Girl dolls. Plural.
  48. Guns N Roses: You’re going to have to sex in the bathroom and regret it.
  49. Joan Jett: You’re going to have sex in the bathroom and not regret it.
  50. Fleetwood Mac: You’re reasonably well adjusted. Considering.
  51. Jewel: Um… are you sure this is a date?
  52. Nicki Minaj: You’re awesome. And kind of crazy.
  53. Lil’ Wayne: You’re crazy. And kind of awesome.
  54. Regina Spektor: You might be a perfectly nice person, but you’re kind of annoying.
  55. Panda Blood: You made that up to see if your date would pretend to have heard of them.
  56. Kid Cudi: No one understands you. But it’s not that big a deal.
  57. John Legend: You have emotional sex.
  58. Eminem: You have emotional problems.
  59. Drake: You’re about whatever.
  60. Vampire Weekend: You’re about being about whatever.
  61. Gogol Bordello: You sweat a lot and you have a nice smile.
  62. Tool: You’re either really smart or really dumb.
  63. Peter Gabriel: Every relationship is a coming-of-age epic of which you are the star.
  64. Leonard Cohen: You’re the kind of person that people get obsessed with for years. Too bad you’re too depressed to appreciate it.
  65. TV on the Radio: You care. Deeply. Even if you act like you don’t.
  66. The Smiths: It’s doomed every time, but it always takes a beautiful, long while to figure that out.
  67. Depeche Mode: You’re screwed up, but you know it, which actually does help.
  68. Cut Copy: You make out in public a lot.
  69. Joni Mitchell: You make breakfast in the morning.
  70. Wilco: You’ll make an excellent life-partner.
  71. The Beatles: Eh. Who knows.

Did we miss your favorite band? Tell us in the comments!

This piece was originally posted on How About We’s blog The Date Report. More from The Date Report:

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