An Imagined Conversation With This Express Model

Me: Hey.

Model: Hi.

Me: Nice weather we’re having.

Model: Very nice.

Me: Also you’re not wearing a shirt.Model: What? Yes I am.

Me: A blazer, yes. A necklace, yes. But definitely no shirt.

Model: But the necklace covers my belly button, so it’s almost like a shirt.

Me: I beg to differ.

Model: It’s actually an upcoming trend, people are calling it the shirt-lace.

Me: Is that true?

Model: Not exactly.

Me: OK good. It’s just that for the past few years the fashion world has been trying to convince the American public that shirts are dresses and leggings are pants and if they start passing off necklaces as shirts, society will descend into chaos. We’re talking volcanic eruptions and locust plagues and a 6th “Fast and Furious” movie.

Model: I did cause a car accident earlier today.

Me: See?