Ex-Gay “Cuddle Therapy” Sounds Suspiciously Gay

Most of the things bigots do are just plain sad. Take “ex-gay therapy,” for example. A bunch of quacks claim that homosexuals can be “cured” of their same-sex attraction through what they call “gay aversion therapy,” but which is really just shaming and guilt-tripping. “Ex-gay therapy” is roundly criticized by actual psychologists. You can read all about the American Psychological Association’s distaste for gay aversion therapy here. But that has not stopped its practitioners — including Michele Bachmann’s husband! — from providing the service. Frequently these “ex-gay therapies” are run by religious individuals or organizations and the practice is euphemistically referring to as “praying the gay away.”

But sometimes, thank God, these very same bigots are hilariously funny. Take, for instance, when “ex-gay therapy” involves getting cuddled by a bunch of dudes. As blogger Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon.com explains, some “ex-gay therapy” advocates claim that homosexuality in men is caused by a lack of physical affection from one’s father during childhood, which causes men to eroticize all male touch. (Wait, I thought being gay was caused by your mother?) So how do these so-called “therapists” train gay dudes not to get boners from other men? Through wrestling, bear hugs and something called “The Motorcycle,” which involves sitting with your head between another dude’s legs. Ted Cox, a writer, went undercover at a camp for “ex-gay therapy” and felt “the unmistakable bulge” pressing through another man’s jeans during their Motorcycle session.

What isn’t funny about ex-gay “cuddle therapy”? The price tag. Cox forked over $650 for a weekend “Journey Into Manhood” retreat, plus airfare.

Seriously, guys, the bathhouse is much cheaper.

[American Psychological Association]