Confession: I Don’t Wash New Underwear Before I Wear It

panties photo

The other day there was a little incident where I was informed at, oh, 4 p.m. that I’d been walking around all day wearing hot pink boy shorts underneath a see-through dress. Ruh roh. I hustled over to the nearest Victoria’s Secret to deal with this situation. There I found a bunch of cute cotton pairs on one of their sale tables, so I scooped ‘em up. (Us ladies are constantly replenishing our panties-supply anyway, right?) Back in the office I slipped on a pair to salvage my reputation as completely oblivious/the office tramp. But it wasn’t until I was ripping those tiny pink VS tags off my new pairs of “cheekies” and tossing them in my underwear drawer that I thought to myself, I guess some people wash these first? I’ve never been a person who washes anything before wearing it, especially since I have a habit of dashing into Forever 21 or H&M the same day I’m going someplace and buying an outfit for right then. I realize, though, this is a thing people do. Sweaty, gross people try on clothes in stores or just fondle them with their Cheez Doodle dust-ed fingers. As totally neurotic as I am about other germ situations — like washing my hands any time I touch anything inside a fridge — I will wear panties that have been sitting on a display table in a VS for God knows how long and being touched by God knows who. Am I totally gross? Or do other people do this too?

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