An Open Letter To Ryan Gosling And His New Bleached Locks

Dear Ryan Gosling,

Oh Ryan, you’re so funny. You know, I know what you’re doing, right? Sure, you may be telling people that this new look is for a movie, something called “The Place Behind The Pines” that I will obviously see 10 times. But I know you’re really just trying to look less attractive so I won’t love you so much. Not gonna work, Ry! You may have bleached your hair, but you didn’t bleach my soul. Even that fake tear tattoo isn’t putting a dent in my devotion. It washes off! The hair will grow out! Someday we’re going to be old and gray and incontinent, Ryan; your fading looks and a restraining order won’t keep me away then, and they won’t keep me away now. You can’t get rid of me, darling Gos. But props for trying!

Yours 4 life,
AmeliaLegal note: Ryan Gosling has yet to actually file a restraining order against me.

Photo: PopSugar

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