10 Names For Robert Pattinson’s Truly Stupid New Haircut

I had two thoughts when I first saw Robert Pattinson’s new haircut. First, “Wow, he’s still really hot.” Second, “But f**k that is a stupid haircut. It looks like he left the barber midway through getting his head shaved. There’s no rhyme or reason to it — from all angles, it looks ridiculous.” Turns out, there is a reason for this totally wack look! Robert is filming an upcoming movie called “Cosmopolis,” directed by David Cronenberg based on the Don DeLillo novel, in which he plays “a young man who makes an odyssey across Manhattan in order to get a haircut.” And then leaves halfway through? Someone who’s read the book — remember, I don’t read Don DeLillo — please explain! [Us Weekly]

In the meantime, I decided to come up with some names for Robert’s new haircut, since his popularity suggests it could be the new “Rachel.”

  1. The Semi
  2. The Edward Cullenhands
  3. The Business On The Right, Party On The Left
  4. The Half Breed
  5. The My Clippers Have A Mind Of Their Own
  6. The Goose in a Weedwacker
  7. The Busted Buzz
  8. The Wave
  9. The Half Patt
  10. The F**k You, I’m Still Sexy

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