The New ASPCA Commercial Is Emotional Cruelty To Humans

Last night, I was catching up on some television when this commercial came on the air. Now, I should note that I love the ASPCA, the charity and pet adoption organization that seeks to end cruelty to animals. The ASPCA is where I adopted my cat, Cleo, and it’s an organization that I regularly give money to. But I hold that this commercial is just too much. Apparently, Sarah McLachlan’s “Arms of the Angel” spot wasn’t emotionally charged enough. This new ad shows clips of forlorn looking animals as a sentence unfolds about them onscreen. “Tabitha, Locked up her whole life.” “Mink, Abused and living in fear.” “Nathaniel, Never loved and left to die.” And the worst, “Blondie, Abandoned and dying of a broken heart.”

Before I knew it, not 20 seconds into the ad, I was huffing and puffing, in tears, little rivers running down my cheeks. I ran to my closet, where Cleo was fast asleep in my sock bin. I picked her up and clutched her to my chest, holding her tightly as I continued to cry for the next five minutes. Her response? She scratched me. As she should have, given that I was acting like a crazy person over a commercial.

So, ASPCA, I blame you for this big old scratch on my arm!

…Oh, fine, I’ll send another $20.