The “Jersey Shore” Season 4 Trailer Is Disgustingly Delicious

You guys, the “Jersey Shore” season four trailer is so gross. Does this mean I’m not going to watch it? No. In fact, I’m already planning a “Jersey Shore” season premiere viewing party with soppressata and limoncello shots. You’re only allowed to come if you’ve got a fake tan and something with an Ed Hardy label. But leave your ‘roid rage at the door, please!

After the jump, the five grossest things about the season four “Jersey Shore” season four trailer:

  1. SNOOKI AND THE SITUATION ARE SMOOSHING. If this trailer is to be believed, the two realize they have feelings for each other. That’s just wrong. This is not going to end well at all. Snooki is a bunny rabbit and The Situation is the big bad wolf. Besides, what happened to Snooki’s crush on Vinny? That was also a bad idea, but significantly less bad of an idea than Snooks and Sitch.
  2. Deena and Pauly D are French kissing outside their mouths. Is it still called French kissing when you lick each other’s tongues? More importantly, do people actually kiss like that?
  3. Vinny’s new ‘stache. Shave that, please. Don’t mess with perfection.
  4. Their digs have a bidet. A bidet (pronounced “bih-day”) looks like a tiny sink that’s situated low to the ground. They’re often found in European bathrooms to wash your genitals after using the loo or after sex. How much do you want to bet we’re going to have to watch someone like Pauly D or Deena drunkenly wash their junk one night?
  5. Snooki and J-Woww have a really bad fight. First of all, J-Woww is scary and if she started screaming at me I would run for cover. In the trailer, a tear-stained Snooks looks like a tiny animal being attacked. But Snooki and J-Woww cannot fight! They just can’t. One of the only sweet things on “Jersey Shore” is their loving, supportive, dare-I-say feminist friendship. They’ve got each other’s backs and they always do right by each other. I will be genuinely be bummed if their friendship hits a rough patch.

This season is going to be amazing. Why can’t it be August 4 already? [Celebuzz]

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