The Good, The Bad & The WTF: Ashley Tortures Her Suitors, Narrows Down To 4 On “The Bachelorette”

Allow me to describe last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette” in one word: CRINGE. Now, this is nothing new, as “The Bachelorette” is always chock full of cringe-worthy moments. But last night’s episode took the cringe to whole new levels of secondhand shame. From the most psychotic date in all of “Bachelorette/Bachelorette” history to the epic diss handed down to one of the bachelors — spoilers ahead! — here are the good, bad and WTF moments from last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” as Ashley narrowed down the field from six to four. The Good:

  • JP shows his vulnerability. Oh JP. Is there a woman alive (who watches this show) who doesn’t salivate at the sight of Joseph Gordon-Levitt lookalike JP? Thus far, he’s definitely been Ashley’s favorite and their “special connection” has given him a certain confidence. He was even cool as a cucumber when Ashley revealed how strong her feelings for Bentley had been. But last night, JP started to feel insecure as his feelings for Ashley deepened and he realized how hard it is to watch her go out with other dudes. I loved that he came clean to her about how he was feeling, rather than playing the macho tough guy. He showed real vulnerability but never came off as self-pitying, at least around Ashley. The other guys may have thought he was pouting, but I found his quiet brooding to be endearing. And so did Ashley — she gave him a rose on their group date as a token of her affection and desire to meet his family.
  • Speaking of JP, he looked real good in that suit. I’ll get to the total ridiculousness of that group date in a second, but how hot did JP look in his tux? Yum!
  • Ben spends the night. While Constantine and Ashley had the more magical one-on-one date — traveling to a local village and participating in a traditional lantern painting ceremony — Ben (who looks just like Constantine only slightly more attractive physically and because he makes wine) had a better one-on-one overall. He even spent the night with Ashley, sort of, though they didn’t share a room. I really appreciate Ben’s approach to this process. He’s open-minded but not naively gung ho. You can tell that he’s the type of guy who doesn’t expose his feelings easily, but when he does, he really means what he says. I predict he’s a frontrunner for the final two, alongside JP (who I can’t imagine not making the final two as he’s perfection).
  • Lucas is sent home. How he lasted so long, I have no idea. Dude was like wallpaper.

The Good, The Bad & The WTF: “Bachelorette” Ashley Says Goodbye To Bentley

The Bad:

    • Ashley refers to Taiwan as a place not many people know about. Really? Come on, Ash.

Ashley refuses to converse about anything besides Ashley and roses and dates and feelings. I know this is “The Bachelorette” and not, like, “60 Minutes,” but I was caught off guard, in a good way, when Ryan started talking to Ashley about environmental issues, something that he is clearly passionate about. I haven’t been a big Ryan fan, mainly because I find him annoying, but it was cool to see someone actually talking about a topic outside of themselvesand the concept of finding love on this show. I mean, there are a lot of things that make two people compatible and being able to make conversation about concepts outside of finding love on “The Bachelorette” is kind of key. Too bad Ashley didn’t even try to engage Ryan, aside from telling him about the time a guy broke up with her because she threw away a plastic bottle instead of recycling it.

  • Ryan is sent packing before the rose ceremony. While I agreed with Ashley’s reasons for sending him home — she didn’t feel a strong enough emotional or physical connection that would warrant meeting his family — Ryan’s dumbfounded reaction was one for the books. I need a GIF made ASAP showing, in slow-mo, his reaction to finding out he wasn’t even staying till the next rose ceremony. It was so sad.
  • Ames continues to mouth-breathe. Not to be mean, but his oversize veneers make it so he can’t close his mouth completely. Hilary Duff had the same problem until she had hers shaved down.

 

Celebrity Conspiracy Theory: Ashley Hebert Is Being Groomed For “DWTS”

The WTF:

  • Seriously, who suggested that “Wedding Photo Date”? There’s never been a more psychotic date in the history of this show. As if it wasn’t already enough pressure to get OMG ENGAGED at the end, the three dudes on the group date were forced to take traditional wedding photos with Ashley — for fun. WHAT?!?!?! Are producers trying to freak the dudes out? Nothing makes the penis go limp like taking a wedding photo with a chick you met three weeks ago. Especially when you’re forced to do it in costume. And Ashley was surprised no one seemed to be having fun? That’s because there is nothing fun about pretending you just married a virtual stranger who you haven’t even f**ked while wearing a powder blue suit from the ’70s.

So, what did you think of last night’s episode?

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