The 6 Things I Was Embarrassed To Learn As An Adult

I know there are a lot of things I don’t know even though I’m a fairly well-educated woman. The revelation that you have been totally in the dark about some widely-known piece of information can be, well, humiliating. Especially when it happens in front of a group of people. On their Facebook page, NPR asked readers to share something they were embarrassed to learn as an adult that they should have learned much earlier like “realizing that New York City is not just Manhattan or that ‘character witnesses’ are not witnesses who are ‘characters.'” The research was for a piece called “I Was Absent That Day” about educated adults’ unavoidable knowledge gaps. Nothing to be ashamed of, we all have them. But people’s confessions of ignorance were oh-so-entertaining, like the person who thought that “pubic hair” was pronounced “public hair.” Haha! After the jump, I share with you a few of my most embarrassing knowledge gaps. I encourage you to share yours in the comments.

  1. That it’s not OK to put tin foil in the microwave. I learned when the explosion happened. How come no one told me?
  2. What the word “schadenfreude” meant. My sophomore year of high school I had to write out the definition of 695 words. Unfortunately “schadenfreude” didn’t make the list.
  3. That the brightness on my computer screen was adjustable. I was at the Frisky office when Amelia said she was catching a glare on her computer. I suggested she try adjusting the brightness, something I had just discovered you could do, and she started laughing at me as did the other ladies.
  4. Division. When I transferred schools as a child, I went from the first half of third grade to the second half of fourth grade, which means I completely missed learning about division. I know how to multiply, but when it comes to division, I am still completely lost.
  5. That snow needs to shoveled and sidewalks salted. I grew up in Arizona where it never snowed. During my first New York winter, I had no idea why people where all hitting the streets with shovels and salt. I actually asked my roommate what they were doing.
  6. The lyrics to the “Flashdance” song. Until I was an adult, I thought the lyrics to the “Flashdance” theme song were “take your pants down and make it happen” instead of “take your passion.” When a girl danced to it the song at an elementary school talent show, I couldn’t believe that she didn’t get detention for choosing such a dirty song.

Alright, now that I’ve shared, it’s your turn! Don’t be shy…

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